When I began doing these pieces, the intention was to write about my friends to express why I like them as people, what it is in their characters that makes me glad to know them. I didn’t want to get into talking about the things they might have done for me, mainly because what benefits I get out of the relationship beyond companionability was beside the point.
But lately, I’ve been going through a season of drastic change, and there have been a few friends who have manifested their care in very active and substantive ways. And I’ve been feeling over the last few weeks that I need to acknowledge the above-and-beyond help they have given me.
I should say first off that there have been a large number of people during the last year and a half who have given me financial help in big and small ways. I’m not going to post a long list of those: some gave small amounts because it was all they had at the moment, some gave larger amounts; some people I know well, others are (even now) acquaintances I see infrequently. That each of them was moved to help me in my need was humbling, and the small gift was as great and glorious as the large. Everyday I give thanks for those friends.
Recently, I moved out of the apartment I’ve had since I moved to L.A. In the time I’ve lived in that one place, others of my friends have moved three or five times (even just around L.A.). Letting go of the “old place” was traumatic. I liked the building and my neighbors. I liked the general neighborhood, and its general centrality for most of my activities. I liked that it was just a mile from my church. But the circumstances were such that I had to move. And the financial logistics didn’t come together until a week or so before I had to have all my belongings out.
Here’s where the above-and-beyond came into play: some of these dear ones came to help me pack up a mountain of stuff and transport it to my storage units. Hours and hours of labor on behalf of a friend who was (truthfully speaking) barely keeping it together. The emotional stress and uncertainty nibbled away at me. but they stuck with me. They deserve some public recognition and thanks from me (though I certainly said it many, many times while we worked).
Robin Reed gave me several days of her time, packing boxes, loading them in her vehicle, carting them to the storage unit. I knew she was generous to start with, but her willingness to be there and help me pack stuff was so crucial, I really could not have done it without her. Jennifer Oliver O’Connell (and her husband Lynn) also willingly helped haul boxes. Even when I was stressed out, her no-nonsense generalship gave me joy — I was so thankful for her help. Guyla Mills gave diligent help in packing stuff. Gwen Jennings astonished me by helping for a couple of days: astonished me because we had only recently become friends. Her help in those days just before the deadline meant a lot to me. Robert Shank gave me a day from his schedule to pack up many crucial items. (God willing, they all come through the ordeal safe and sound!) I was so frazzled at that point that I could not, on my own, have thought of his pragmatic solutions to certain packing challenges. Linda Culpepper was kept from physical assistance because of a bug on the crucial day, but she chipped in a Pollo Loco card that fed the team on one of those days.
It’s always a gift to help friends at either end of a move. The process is so often hectic and challenging even in the best circumstances. And these were not the best circumstances: I was stressed, fearful about my future, loaded down with many years’ accumulation of stuff. On top of that as more and more went into storage, I was being shocked and appalled at how much of my own life had become buried alive. That these friends helped me through this “rite of passage” in such a physical way is very precious to me. I could not have done it without them.
Whatever lies ahead for me has been made brighter by their ready willingness to help when I truly needed help.
The saying goes “A friend in need is a friend indeed.” I think I want to add to that by saying “A friend in deed is a joy forever.”
(Other friends have given me help in shelter, but that is another story that is not finished yet.)
